A Fight

Bub's school called earlier today.  It was the ED (Educational Diagnostician) who is pretty much our go-to-girl for all things Bub-related.  She had him in her office and the school psychologist was with them too.  They were on speaker phone and wanted to tell me that Bub's best friend got in a fist fight in their first period class today. 

To give a little background info, Bub is very non-social.  Not ANTI-social, just non-social.  He doesn't connect well or easily to people and has had no lasting friendships until he met Sam.  Sam and Bub hit it off in about 4th grade and then really connected in 5th.  Them both being in the same inclusion classes helped this friendship manifest itself.  I had met Sam a few times in brief forays into their classroom for various things.  He's a quirky kid with a big smile.  Because Bub & Sam became such good friends, I spoke to Sam's mother on occasion and found that Sam also has Asperger's.  This is interesting because I remember reading that kids with Asperger's tend to seek each other out without knowing it. 

Well Sam & Bub have been super tight ever since.  They share a deep, nerdy enjoyment of video games and video game heroes, like Sonic, Pokemon, and the like.  They talk on the phone about their games, listening to each other play their games, sometimes teaming up online to play Little Big Planet or whatever else they cooperatively play via the internet.  It's nice that Bub has made such a good friend.  He has some other acquaintances but no one like Sam. 

So when the school called this morning and told me that Bub was in the office and was "processing what had happened this morning", I was concerned.  Apparently, in science class, Sam had been told to move by another kid and when Sam told the kid to be polite about it, the other kid pushed him.  Sam pushed back and a brawl began.  Bub witnessed Sam and the other kid going at it pretty violently for a few seconds until it was broken up.  Sam had a few minor injuries and was sent home.  Both Sam and the other kid were suspended.  Bub was angry and told me that he wished he had chased the other kid out in the hall and beat him up.  He was upset with himself for not jumping in, but we all informed him that he made the right choice by not getting involved in a physical problem. 

Bub was very upset mostly that Sam was hurt and that this happened to Sam at all.  Bub felt like a bad friend for freezing and not coming to Sam's defense.  I can understand how he'd feel like that.  It was a tough situation.  It was the first time Bub has encountered physical violence and it was against his best friend. :(

We're heading to Dr. A's tonight for our regular session so we'll be going over this.  And for those who think AS kids "don't have empathy", let me be the first to assure you that's a myth.