Thursday, March 3, 2011

Adventure on the High Seas

Well, we did it.  We survived another family vacation!  I'm pleased to say that as the kids get older, vacations become so much easier.  I'm reminded of the early years when we had to lug along all kinds of equipment, such as strollers, sippy cups, Cheerios, Pull-Ups, wipes, portable cribs...

I do sometimes miss those baby-sweet years but it's easier to kiss them goodbye when I remind myself how much more difficult having an Asperger's child is in the early years.  Bub was a ... challenge... from birth to about age 10.  Now that he's 12, we have seen a huge smoothing-out of his emotions and his ability to adapt has grown profoundly.  We used to have to plan everything out very strategically - from attending family reunions to birthday parties to going out to lunch.  What will we do if he melts down?  What is our exit plan? What if there's nothing that he likes to eat there?  What if he gets too cold?  What will we do, oh Lord, what will we do!?

Bleh!  Those days were rough!

We definitely still have our challenges, but it's nothing like it was.  On this recent family vacation, I didn't have to pack Goldfish crackers in case he wouldn't eat anything (on a cruise!), I didn't worry that our whole trip would be ruined by his inflexibility or demands.  We just...went.  :)

Being that Bub is Bub and will always be Bub, he imposed his own routines on himself and they were fine (though a little exasperating) with us.  I mean, you know cruises are famous for amazing amounts and varieties of foods, right?  Well, this is what Bub ate for lunch.every.day.

But hey... at least he found something he likes.  You notice his DSi in the background?  I'd say that 75% of the time, he walked around with that in front of his face.  I resisted the urge to nag him to put it down - it was a piece of familiarity that he needed.  And when I did nag him about eating something other than white rice, he responded, "Why? I'm perfectly happy eating this."

And that's when I was reminded that just because *I* wouldn't be happy eating nothing but white rice, doesn't mean he's not happy with it.  Sometimes we have to stop projecting our emotions onto our kids.  They aren't us.  They're themselves.  If he wanted to eat something else, he would have.  He was perfectly happy.

More about this awesome vacation is to come!

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