My family will be going on vacation soon. We've been planning a rather big trip for over a year now and my DH (dear husband, for those of you not up on your blog lingo) is like a little kid when it comes to vacations. For a solid year he has been leafing through travel brochures, pouring over details, pulling up websites with photographs of our destinations, and starting each morning with "Guess how many more days!?" I recall the answers being "285."
Then "157!"
Then "83!"
and now... we're at "4!"
This is awesome. We're all excited. Excitement can manifest itself in many ways, and this is even more so with an Asperger's kid. (Everything is MORE SO with an AS kid.)
So Bubba has been absorbing the excitement for over a year now and since we're in the homestretch, he's starting to feel it more. This has happened before. Right before Christmas break, or spring break, or summer break. He gets revved up, as we all do. However, because Bub has such a deep loathing for school, it becomes harder for him to tolerate it the week before something special occurs. This week has been no exception.
Bub's Educational Diagnostician, Mrs. H, called. He was very upset in first period (science) because he completed a worksheet and then was told by the Spec. Ed. teacher (Mr. F) that he completed it incorrectly and would have to redo it. Oh no, no, no. Bub will buck like a bronco if told to do the same assignment twice. Once was enough for him, thanks very much. He will flat out tell you, "I'm not doing it again." Which he did say.
So he went down to see Mrs. H for a reprieve and in doing that he was missing his 2nd period class (AgScience). She was trying to get him pulled back together so he could go back to class and was telling him he was now missing his work in AgScience and would have to take both classes classwork home for homework now. Oh dear. Poke poke poke! Now we're provoking the raging bronco.
Bub's way of dealing with this was to melt down and enter into perseverative and cyclical thinking. He got stuck on the fact that it would be illogical to do his AgScience work when he hasn't gotten his science work done yet and could not stop perseverating on that idea. Mrs. H. had to cut off her phone conversation with me because we weren't getting anywhere in working with his thinking so I wished her luck and waited for the inevitable phone call back.
Later that day, the phone call did come and Mrs. H. explained that she allowed Bub to have time to get himself together, put water on his face, and then return to class and everything was okay after that.
I am always sure to thank people profusely when they take the time to kindly and patiently work with Bub. I thanked her for her patience and understanding and she replied, "He's a joy. And I want to thank YOU because he gives me opportunities every day to practice my skills."
Wow. Well... you're welcome, I guess! :)
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Aren't We All a Little Aspie?
I never knew what Asperger's was until I started researching online to find something that could explain my son, who was then about 5 years old. When I read about it, things made sense - his need for routine, his extreme difficulties with socialization, his emotional outbursts, obsessive interests, sensory sensitivities, and amazing intellect. He fit the bill and I was relieved to find that there was a name for his collection of characteristics and that all signs pointed to him being able to overcome most of them.
And as I continued reading and researching and my knowledge of the nuances of AS increased, I began to be able to perceive its presence in varying degrees in other people. It's kind of like "gaydar" - LOL - I can pick up the subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle signs of Aspergers in others. Aspie-dar.
This has led me to the understanding that a lot of us have a lot of Aspie qualities, especially in families where AS is already diagnosed. I mean, this kid came from somewhere right? The apple doesn't fall from the tree...? Well neither does the Aspie.
I do not believe I have Aspergers or that I'd be diagnosed with it, either as a child or an adult. I was a very social kid, had plenty of friends, adjusted well to different situations, and didn't necessarily obsess over anything - okay, wait... maybe Ricky Schroder. *sigh*
Anyway...although I wouldn't be diagnosed myself, I definitely see AS qualities in both me and my husband. I'm guessing that Him + Me = Bubba. Well, obviously, but I mean in the Asperger's way. My quirks plus hubby's quirk melded into a super-quirky kid, diagnosable with AS.
Most of my quirks are sensory oriented - though I've grown out of some as I've gotten older, such as foods touching. That was a big no-no for me in my younger years, though that's pretty commonplace. In high school I had a bit of a handwriting OCD thing going on where, if I made a letter imperfectly, I would have to try desperately to resist erasing and remaking it. It made me feel a little crazy.
I still have some problems with certain clothing items. I don't like button-down blouses because they feel confining when I move my arms forward. I don't like any shoes that have smooth bottoms because I feel like I will slip and fall, therefore I almost never wear any kind of heels.
I don't like sharing certain things like toothbrushes or even my toothpaste - I need my own.
When I go to bed, I need tight-fitting pants on, like thermal underwear, otherwise my legs feel crawly against the sheets.
Sensory stuff. I have a million of them.
As far as social stuff, I have some of it, but not a ton. When I was a teen and into my early twenties I was petrified of going anywhere by myself. Even the store. I wouldn't even get gas in my car unless someone was in the car with me. I have overcome much of that, but that's not to say I don't get any anxiety about certain situations today. I definitely do.
Hubby has more of the social stuff. He is a loner, perfectly happy entertaining himself doing his own thing - mainly sports related games, internet surfing, cooking, etc. He doesn't have much need for friends or social outlet. When he's around people, he's very outgoing though, and has a sense of humor that he's well known for.
But I can see how A + B = C and how it has trickled down in our families as well. But I'm fine with that. I think Bubs is really cool the way he is, challenges and all. And while he feels different from other kids now, I think those differences will fall by the wayside as he gets older and realizes we are all weird in our own ways.
And as I continued reading and researching and my knowledge of the nuances of AS increased, I began to be able to perceive its presence in varying degrees in other people. It's kind of like "gaydar" - LOL - I can pick up the subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle signs of Aspergers in others. Aspie-dar.
This has led me to the understanding that a lot of us have a lot of Aspie qualities, especially in families where AS is already diagnosed. I mean, this kid came from somewhere right? The apple doesn't fall from the tree...? Well neither does the Aspie.
I do not believe I have Aspergers or that I'd be diagnosed with it, either as a child or an adult. I was a very social kid, had plenty of friends, adjusted well to different situations, and didn't necessarily obsess over anything - okay, wait... maybe Ricky Schroder. *sigh*
Anyway...although I wouldn't be diagnosed myself, I definitely see AS qualities in both me and my husband. I'm guessing that Him + Me = Bubba. Well, obviously, but I mean in the Asperger's way. My quirks plus hubby's quirk melded into a super-quirky kid, diagnosable with AS.
Most of my quirks are sensory oriented - though I've grown out of some as I've gotten older, such as foods touching. That was a big no-no for me in my younger years, though that's pretty commonplace. In high school I had a bit of a handwriting OCD thing going on where, if I made a letter imperfectly, I would have to try desperately to resist erasing and remaking it. It made me feel a little crazy.
I still have some problems with certain clothing items. I don't like button-down blouses because they feel confining when I move my arms forward. I don't like any shoes that have smooth bottoms because I feel like I will slip and fall, therefore I almost never wear any kind of heels.
I don't like sharing certain things like toothbrushes or even my toothpaste - I need my own.
When I go to bed, I need tight-fitting pants on, like thermal underwear, otherwise my legs feel crawly against the sheets.
Sensory stuff. I have a million of them.
As far as social stuff, I have some of it, but not a ton. When I was a teen and into my early twenties I was petrified of going anywhere by myself. Even the store. I wouldn't even get gas in my car unless someone was in the car with me. I have overcome much of that, but that's not to say I don't get any anxiety about certain situations today. I definitely do.
Hubby has more of the social stuff. He is a loner, perfectly happy entertaining himself doing his own thing - mainly sports related games, internet surfing, cooking, etc. He doesn't have much need for friends or social outlet. When he's around people, he's very outgoing though, and has a sense of humor that he's well known for.
But I can see how A + B = C and how it has trickled down in our families as well. But I'm fine with that. I think Bubs is really cool the way he is, challenges and all. And while he feels different from other kids now, I think those differences will fall by the wayside as he gets older and realizes we are all weird in our own ways.
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